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Just this morning, on my way to work, I found out that "Björk" rhymes with "jerk." My friend told me that he knew this because Björk herself had said it, "I'm Björk. Rhymes with jerk." After saying that, she probably cartwheeled away, leaving a path of some small, snow-colored (yes, that means white) trail of Nordic flowers blooming in her wake. She's kind of the best, you know?  But so, because she's the best, it's with...