Those of us living in New York City, or even the greater NYC area, have the wonderful amenity of a wide variety of professional sports teams from which to choose our favorites: the Yankees or the Mets, the Knicks or the Nets, the Rangers, Devils, or Islanders, and, of course, the Giants or the Jets.
Unfortunately, some of us have been stuck with the lifelong choice of rooting for the Jets, a team that has not won the Super Bowl since 1969, and has somehow found new and innovative ways—year in and year out—to make fans fucking miserable.
In recent years, we’ve seen Brett Favre share photos of his manhood like wildfire, the Mark Sanchez era, branded by running into his own teammate’s ass, a pathetic attempt at publicity with Tim Tebow, and, in general, being the laughingstock of the country. While not quite as novel in their awfulness this season, the Jets—after teasing fans by winning 10 games last season—are back to being disgraceful, their latest offense being a primetime 28-3 loss to the Arizona Cardinals on Monday night, which included abhorrent play from QB Ryan Fitzpatrick and an equally horrible relief performance from the contemptible Geno Smith (who, if you don’t recall, lost the starting job after being punched in the face by his own teammate last season). The J-E-T-S dropped to 1-5 on the season, and, frankly, don’t deserve our eyes anymore. As a matter of fact, there are plenty of equally stupid things on the Internet I’d rather focus my attention on instead. You may like to do that as well. Consider the following:
Donald Trump, dressed as a farmer, singing ‘Green Acres’ With Megan Mullally
I would rather watch this on loop for the next five years than watch last night’s Jets game again.
Ryan Seacrest attempting to high fIve a blind man
Why watch interceptions in the end zone when you can watch this? This is better in every way.
Binky from Arthur listening to Young Thug
Maybe the Jets game would be more bearable if it was scored by Young Thug.
This clip from a Friday The 13th movie where a man inexplicably eats a heart