One thing that people do from time to time—or all the time, or none of the time, depending—is have sex. Also, Valentine’s Day is almost here. That’s a day people have sex on. Also, this is Brooklyn and people have, so I’ve heard, more sex with more people on a more regular basis than other places in the world. Or so I’ve heard.
All of which is a long-winded way of saying: L. condom makers has assessed this situation and, paired with the extra love-making potential of February 14, decided to be your safe-sex-having benefactors: They are offering free condoms, delivered right to your doorstep for the next two weeks. And because this is Brooklyn and we’re impatient and like to have sex, L. offers one-hour delivery as a permanent service, direct to your home (though, for that, you do have to pay. Because that’s reasonable).
But to get in on the free fun until February 14, follow these stupidly easy steps:
- Submit your email address to email@example.com from this moment through February 14.
- Watch free condoms arrive at your doorstep.
Finally, if you’re single and you have no problem telling everyone on the planet who has access to your social media pages about that fact, and the fact that you also have sex, you have the chance to win free condoms for a year. Here’s what you need to do for that potentially great time:
- Post on social media with hashtag #shamelesslysingle.
- Nothing else.
Now get off the Internet (after completing the above), and have lots of free safe sex.