Horoscopes: November

No, but really
No, but really?

03_scorpioScorpio | Oct 23–Nov 21
I have no doubt your intentions are good, Scorpio. Or rather, you have no doubt your intentions are good. In fact, you are so completely lacking in doubt with regards to your own intentions that you kind of take my breath away. What’s it like to be so certain of yourself all the time? Is it liberating? Or is it lonely? My guess is: Both. Maybe it’s time for a little uncertainty. Whatever it is you’ve been doing lately hasn’t really been working out so well for you, has it?

04_sagittariusSagittarius | Nov 22–Dec 21
Do you ever wake up in the morning to multi-colored skies? To a view streaked with colors as delicate as the underside of a butterfly’s wings? Or even not delicate—colors as bright as cans of Bud Light Strawberry-, Mango-, and Lime-A-Ritas. Anyway, the point is: You’re up too early. It sounds like you might not be sleeping so well, like something big is on your mind. I don’t know if I can help you with it, but I’d like to try. You help so many people, Sag; we want to help you too, if you need it.

05_capricornCapricorn | Dec 22–Jan 19
Your mantra right now, Capricorn, is three words: I want more. Simple enough, right? But I think you should add an extra word to that mantra. And the word is: Why? That’s the part you should meditate on. You want more. Ok. But why? What are you missing? Can you even recognize what that is anymore?

06_aquariusAquarius | Jan 20–Feb 18
Most of the time, the colors that I see surrounding you are cool blues, quicksilver grays, cold blacks and warm whites. But right now, Aquarius? Now I see pink. I see flamingos. I see tight rose buds. I see stripes and splashes of lurid color crowding out everything that’s basic black and white. I think you’re about to have some serious fun.

07_piscesPisces | Feb 19–Mar 20
You’ve already had your blackest day, Pisces. You’ve already gone down into the blue, blue depths, approached the point where you weren’t sure if you’d ever be able to get to the surface again, then managed to change direction and swim toward the light, lungs on the verge of bursting the entire time. But you survived. It wasn’t magic. Or maybe it was. Maybe everything is. Build a temple. I bet you’re a good carpenter.

08_ariesAries | Mar 21–Apr 19
So, let’s talk about Jesus. Not, like, “Jesus.” But, like, Jesus. Recently, I heard an Aries pose the question, “So do you think Jesus was a ‘good’ carpenter?” It got me thinking quite a bit about all the different ways we have to perform in order to survive, and how our real selves will either be sublimated or will wind up breaking free. Ask yourself, Aries, what it is you’re really good at, and forget about doing anything else for at least a little while.

09_taurusTaurus | Apr 20–May 20
How much do you just want to leave everything right now, Taurus? Forget all responsibilities and run through the sand and be the kind of freak you know—everyone knows—you are? You want it a lot, right? Well, pay attention to what you want. You tend to ignore your wants in favor of your obligations sometimes, and there’s no need for that right now. Be a freak.

10_geminiGemini | May 21–Jun 21
Gem, do you see them looking at you? They know who you are. That’s why you’re isolated right now. That’s why you’re alone. You have two options. One: Blaze with a self-righteous fury at how nobody understands what it is you go through. Or, two: Forget them all and take the advice of a summer solstice baby and go get high by the beach. I’d recommend door number two.

11_cancerCancer | Jun 22–Jul 22
I’m sorry, Cancer. Is that what you wanted to hear? Of course it is. That’s what you always want to hear! Maybe we all kind of do. Maybe we all want someone else to take responsibility for what goes wrong in our lives. But this time I mean it: I’m sorry. A lot of things haven’t been fair for you lately, and partly that’s just life, but also there’s good news: You’re about to leave a rough patch and enter much smoother waters where you’ll finally be able to feel free.

12_leoLeo | July 23–Aug 22
It’s time to strip back all the layers of pretense that surround you, Leo, and clip your mane, to get all leonine on you. This will serve multiple purposes—not the least of which is that we all benefit from a little self care—but the primary one is that your hair will be out of your eyes and you’ll not only be able to see everything around you, but also get a clearer picture of yourself. And I think you’ll be happy to discover what’s there.

01_virgoVirgo | Aug 23–Sep 22
Virgo, you’ve had a bumpy month or so. You’ve been introduced to new situations and people and modes of being that would have been difficult for anyone to adapt to, but you’re a control freak so it’s been particularly hard for you. But things will get a lot easier if you accept the fact that it’s not just you who’s not in control—nobody is. So you might as well enjoy the ride.

02_libraLibra | Sep 23–Oct 22
Libra, you usually seem like you’re above it all, like nothing can touch you. Some people think you do that to protect yourself, but I think you do it to protect others. Which is kind of you. Really! Most people can’t handle what you put out there. Which is why I now feel sort of bad for all the people in your path as you descend to earth and stir up trouble, as you seem to want to be doing right now. Well, I feel bad for them, but happy for me, because, damn, is this going to be fun to watch.


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