Ahh, that sweet, cultured Williamsburg air. It’s part nitrogen, part oxygen (and part carbon dioxide and argon), and was captured at the heart of Bedford and North 7th this morning just for you to purchase on Ebay, if you want.
Packaged in a plastic bag and hawked for the modest north Brooklyn starting bid of $39.99, this premium Billy-burg breathing air could make you as important and cool as Lena Dunham, which is apparently a selling point for whomever posted this item. The listing boasts about Williamsburg and all of its star-studded, fedora-wearing greatness in the description below.
This is truly some rare air:
The air was collected in the summer of 2015 and the mystery oxygen could’ve come from anywhere–perhaps it circulated at our trendiest bars and brunch spots like Enid’s or the Wythe Hotel. Or maybe it spent some time on the set of Lena Dunham’s hit HBO show, ‘Girls.’ It could’ve even been breathed in by our hippest resident celebrities like Sky Ferreira. That store on Bedford Ave. that sells only fedoras? The hot sauce store on Wythe? We’re not saying! There’s truly no telling where in “The Burg” this air came from!
So get on this! It’s not exactly that implausible that someone spends forty bucks on air from Williamsburg. After all, French tourists have been known to spend thirty dollars on NYC hot dogs.
Follow Sam Blum on Twitter @Blumnessmonster