Breaking: You Never Need to Feel Inferior to the French Again

Paris via Wikipedia

In the last ten years or so, if Americans have been told one thing over and over about France it’s this: The French do everything better. From raising children (or, you know, bébés) to dieting to the amount of vacation time they get, the French apparently have everything all figured out. It would be enough to cause an inferiority complex among the most secure people, and so, luckily enough, most Americans have remained immune to the seductive lure of Francophilia, choosing instead to raise kids the ‘Murican way—fat and with little free time.

But New Yorkers are, obviously, not most Americans. And though we might be secure as a whole, we… no, fuck it. We’re anxiety-ridden and insecurity-laden because we are so Type A and neurotic that we just know we must be screwing up somehow and so apparently have lately felt the need to look to our Gallic friends for answers in the form of self-help books. But, you know, we should stop doing that. Like, now. Why? Because New York magazine is reporting that the French, those pioneers of haute cuisine, are lining up at dawn all in order to be the first to enter… Burger King.

That’s right: It turns out the French are so into Burger King that some people lined up for as much as fifteen hours in order to score a free Whopper. And while we might understand if that was happening for a Shake Shack burger or something (actually, no, we wouldn’t) this is Burger King! Which isn’t even the best in terms of American fast food offerings. So, you know, the next time someone tries to tell you that the French do literally anything better than we do, just keep repeating the words “Burger King” until the other person runs away screaming. And then, you know, go wait two hours to get seated for brunch at Five Leaves while humming the Star-Spangled Banner under your breath. Or what have you.

Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen


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