There’s a Line Around the Block at Trader Joe’s in Cobble Hill Because All of Brooklyn Is a Stereotype

We're pretty sure these people are only buying the essentials. Photo courtesy of David Shaw
We’re pretty sure these people are only buying the essentials.
Photo courtesy of David Shaw

Lest you think for even one minute that people are taking the Blizzard of 2015 aka Juno in stride and not acting like a Saturday Night Live parody of how New Yorkers act in an emergency, let the photo above prove that many people in Brooklyn are working their hardest to be the perfect stereotype of a city-dweller in a storm. I mean, there is literally a line around the block for Trader Joe’s. Around the block

Which, you know, I like that cookie butter as much as anyone else does, and Trader Joe’s hummus does in a pinch when there’s literally no other hummus available at all and yet you REALLY want hummus (what? it’s grossly chalky and yet compulsively eatable, making for a dangerous combination), AND YET, I can not get behind people acting like we’re in a The Day After Tomorrow kind of scenario. Sure, just like in that seminal film, wolves coyotes are already roaming the streets of Manhattan, but is that really any worse than the ongoing rat problem? I fail to see how! Grocery hoarding pre-storm is one of those things that makes perfect sense if you live in, I don’t know, the suburbs or Staten Island, but if you live in the Cobble Hill area, I have news for you: You will still be able to get food tomorrow. You just will! There is no need to drive, and you are never more than a block from someplace to find food. The worst case scenario is going to be that you might—might—need to wait till Wednesday to venture out. Unless, you know, the coyotes have fully taken over by then. Which is always a possibility (and we will be the first to welcome our coyote overlords) but not one that anyone should get all that worried about yet. Not at all.

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