Have you been paying attention to the Olympics?
Neither have we. Well, no. I shouldn’t even use the collective “we” in this instance, because I know that many people have, in fact, been watching the Olympics because I have heard people talking about figure skating. But I haven’t been watching. I haven’t been watching the Olympics for pretty much the same reason that I can’t imagine going to zoos anymore. I just can’t properly focus on the sports when I know about Sochi’s disappearing dogs and the millions and millions of dollars in wasted funds (Sochi was by far the most expensive Olympics ever due to corruption and political graft). Also, Putin’s dead-eyed stare will never not haunt me.
But so, if there’s been one thing that has been interesting, it’s been the USA hockey team’s quest for gold. And it’s not just because the US beat Russia in an epic overtime shoot-out (I don’t even want to think about what Putin’s going to do to Bobrovsky). It was because—and I was mostly excited for this as a Rangers fan—a US win against Canada today would have meant that team USA would be facing Sweden in the gold medal match. And all Rangers fans know what that means: Lundqvist! Handsome Hank would have taken on TJ Oshie and the whole American team and, sure, we wouldn’t have really known for whom to root, but it would have been so exciting! We love excitement! We’re American!
But exciting things took a huge blow this afternoon when Canada beat the US (1-0), guaranteeing sedate celebrations and Joni Mitchell sing-a-longs for our neighbor to the north. Which, fine. We guess there’s a silver lining here because at least we won’t have a hard time knowing who to root for anymore, but still. We’re kind of bummed. It’s a shitty way to start the weekend, you know? Go Sweden!
Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen