Brooklyn is such a scary place! Wait. No. No, it’s not. But it used to be? I mean, that’s debatable, I guess. Bad things are always happening and there were certainly times in this borough—and this city’s—history when they were happening more frequently than they do now. But it’s a trade-off, you know? Because when all those violent things were happening, New York also had, um, more integrity? Or something. I don’t know. I don’t want to romanticize too much about the past (other than the low rents) because nostalgia is death. But I do want to look back on all the tragic occurrences that have taken place in this borough. Not because we’re all voyeurs or sadists or anything, but because out of this history of violence came our current state of relative calm and quiet. Also, this is the kind of esoteric information that will impress people at, I guess, cocktail parties. If, that is, you are the type of person who goes to cocktail parties.