5 Steps to Not Being a Shitty Pet Owner
- c/o nyanimalrescue.org
- Styles, a Terrier/Pit Bull Mix, available at Sean Casey Animal Rescue.
Possess Common Sense, Don’t Be a Psycho
It is important to have pragmatism when you are a pet owner. Dramatic stuff might go down and you need to know that you’ll be able to keep your head on straight. You need to know that if you are out walking your dog and another dog with a shitty owner lunges at yours, that the best thing to do is remove yourself and your pet from the situation. The worst thing to do would be to throw the bag of dog shit you have in your hand at the other owner’s face. You’ll be tempted, sure, you’re only human, but don’t do it. Just walk away.
Another thing you might need to consider is whether or not, if your dog bit off your child’s finger, the appropriate response would be to shoot your dog and cut open its stomach to retrieve that finger, which was not even the thumb or pointer, but was instead only the pinky. Oh, you don’t think that could happen? Well, it happened in Florida. Obviously, it was in Florida. Anyway, the man who shot his dog and SLICED ITS STOMACH OPEN, now regrets doing it, but it’s too late, isn’t it? And what was the kid doing in order to get a beloved family pet so worked up in the first place? If you are the kind of person whose motto is “Shoot first, ask questions later,” probably—definitely—you shouldn’t own a pet. Or maybe have children. But that’s a different story.