7 Reasons to Lament the Death of Winter
Having to Go Outside
You know what I love about the winter? You can cancel plans or decide not to do the things that you really need to do and you can just blame it on the weather and no one will ever question you. Because they all know the weather is terrible. So there’s no reason for you to feel guilty about spending a Sunday lying on your living room rug, spaced out on Benadryl, chilling with your dog, and watching a double feature of “Hiroshima Mon Amour” and “Vivre Sa Vie.” Spring forces you to keep plans and be active. I hate active. I want to be sedentary. I want to stay in the same place and lose all trace of ever having possessed any kind of kinetic energy and winter is the absolute best time for this. I never want to go outside again.
It’s 12:50 pm now and it’s snowing again, maybe the rain will stay away?