A Rat’s Guide to Restaurant Week


When the subway tunnels flooded during Hurricane Sandy, we all nervously joked about the displaced rat population, sure. We probably wouldn’t really be overrun by a previously unseen rat population, right? And anyway, there were much bigger things to worry about at the time. Well all you naysayers, the subterranean vermin have come home to roost. Oh, have they ever. From a terrifying Times report today:

“Rodent specialists predicted that many rats would drown in submerged subway tunnels, but also that survivors would feast on the buffet of garbage strewed in the streets. Now, several exterminators say they know exactly what happened to the rats: Driven from shorelines, the rodents came inland, in droves.”

Geez Louise. One exterminator noted, “There’s so much garbage out in the streets these days. Renovations because of the flood. Christmas trees. These things make it worse. For them, it’s Restaurant Week.” Now, I will spare you the numerous rat-staurant week puns that come to mind (clearly I won’t), but this does raise a valid-ish point. What is restaurant week like, for a rat? Are there Prix Fixes? Tiny little dinner jackets? Terrifying men trying to spray you with deadly chemicals as you dine? Seems like a lot of potential pitfalls. As such, it seemed only right to put together a few tricks of the trade for the discerning, culinary-minded rat. Why wouldn’t anyone want to know this?

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