And the Drunkest Neighborhood in Brooklyn Is….


Listen, don’t be too disappointed. I know we were all competing really hard for this title, and not everyone can be a winner all the time. Greenpoint did something right that the rest of us didn’t, and we’ll just have to pick ourselves up, do a round of shots, and learn from their example.
And it’s not all bad. Gothamist’s handy map incorporated mashed up data for both public drinking and public urination, meaning that Greenpoint won this honor, in part, by a prolific amount of peeing in public. If you think about it, this may just mean, more than anything, that people in Greenpoint can’t hold their liquor, and are thus forced to live in a urine-soaked hell hole pee-pee-soaked heck hole. It’s sort of the obvious dark side to being a neighborhood where people really like to “go out.”
Anyway, think about it. The only runners-up who are even close are in Williamsburg (and Bushwick in a distant third). Do you really want to be like those people? Don’t answer that.
Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.