5 Things to Do This Weekend Besides Watch ‘Girls’
Read a Book
Yeah, that’s right. Read a book. Not just any book. You need to pick a good book so that it seems like you weren’t just reading because you had nothing better to do. Might I recommend “After Claude” by Iris Owens? This novel is the perfect alternative to Girls because it is told by an unreliable, self-obsessed narrator who has no luck in love or friendship and is also broke. The narrator, Harriet, has just been dumped by her boyfriend Claude, “the French rat.” Harriet is susceptible to things like sexual svengalis who run cults our of rooms in the Chelsea Hotel. Harriet is also capable —when trying to intimidate a romantic rival—of throwing off acerbic one-liners like, “Tell me, do you believe that stewardesses and nurses are pathologically promiscuous as a result of their occupations constantly confronting them with death?” So, if you read “After Claude” instead of watching Girls, you’ll be able to substitute the words “Hannah and Jessa” for “stewardesses and nurses” and feel smug and superior to all your tv-watching friends.