Parties, Gentrification Are Destroying Bushwick’s Precious Real Estate

  • Rebecca Smenye / Paper Magazine

It is a known fact that millenials can’t have nice things. Sure, we appreciate and want nice things, but since we were raised by selfish, credit-addicted baby boomers, can we ever truly understand their value? No. Also, we can’t afford them, since we all have mountains of “investment” student debt and no decent jobs available to us.

All of which would help explain why so many youths have moved out to cheap, unsupervised Bushwick, and are now in the process of ruining its storied mansions, an issue that has been a source of great concern over at Brownstoner.

Because countless beautiful buildings in the neighborhood have been left to shamefully languish for decades young people who live in Bushwick are generally edgy ingrates, parties in large, abandoned spaces like “mansions” and “churches” are pretty run of the mill. “Trip House,” however, located at 74 Cornelia Street and recently shot for Paper magazine, has drawn particular ire at Brownstoner for parties at which guests have been known to graffiti over the building’s “otherwise pristine original bead board walls, fireplaces, wainscotting and other 1890s details.” That, and its suspiciously low selling price of $275,000. I mean, my god, shouldn’t somebody be inflating the real estate market? Who’s taking care of the brokers in all this? Think of the brokers!

Well, I probably won’t because I assume they’re much better off than, say, most bloggers, and if somebody managed to find a good deal in this terrible economy, good for them. I do sort of feel for the residents, though, since they don’t seem too happy about the whole thing, either. Trip House denizen Chris Goldstein explained to Daily Intel, “We care about the house because it has the potential to be the nicest place we’ve ever lived in. We’re as worried as we can be. It’s sixteen rooms, four floors, and we can’t be everywhere at once.” Residents also posted on the wall of a recent event, “SICK OF FUCKING LOSERS DESTROYING A NICE PLACE. THIS AINT SOME CORPORATE SHIT HOLE SLASH MCKIBBEN LOFTS AND OUR BOUNCERS WILL HELP PUT U TO SLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET ON BUSHWICK AVE.”

Which sounds reasonable, and sick burn at the McKibben lofts. Plus, the people who actually own the building don’t really give a shit. “Some Hasids bought the place — a few Hasids come to every party,” said Goldstein. “They are very interested in what we do in terms of progressive culture.” So, great! Also great was a Brownstoner commenter’s observation that the building is owned by a person named “Abraham Grunhut,” surely the best name anyone has heard since their last reading of a Tolkein novel. In conclusion, I guess, this doesn’t seem like a real problem at all and ugh, parents really just don’t understand. Only the Hasidic landlords truly “get” us.

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.

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  1. Brownstoner is the fox news of historic housing blogs. The amount inaccuracies in that article would make Paul Ryan blush. plus, they’re URL-squatting on what could be a great website where ethnic potheads could share tumblr links.