How to Ride a Goddamn Elevator
Move Away from the Buttons
What’s with people who push onto an elevator first, press the button for their floor, and then just stand there? Did they used to work as the operators of manual elevators, and they’re waiting for the rest of us to announce which floor we need? DID THEY? Speaking of elevator attendants, once an old guy got in an elevator with me and made a joke like “Sixth floor, menswear,” and then told me I wouldn’t get it because I was too young. And I looked at him real cold and said, “yes, I get it, because I’ve seen it in old movies,” and hoped he understood the subtext, which was that he was old, and that I hated him. [photo]