How To Pilot Your Bicycle In A Decorous Fashion

When piloting your velocipede it is imperative that you consider prudence, modesty, and decorum at all times, lest you be sanctioned by local law-keepers for improper attire. For, you see, high moral conduct is the chief concern of our metropolitan constabulary, and young women on bicycles must bear in mind the moral weakness of pedestrians as they navigate our sin-besotted conurbation. Forthwith, our guide to proper cycling conduct, lest you suffer the same fate as Jasmijn Rijcken, a Dutch woman who, at the beginning of the summer, was threatened with a ticket by a police officer because she was “too sexy.” Heaven forfend.

Photos by

Model Jackie M @ Wilhelmina
Stylist Jaclyn Hodes
Stylist Assistant Desanka Fasiska
Make-Up Brit Cochran
Hair Takeo Suzuki
Photo Assistant Cody Swanson
Bike Recycle-A-Bicycle, Brooklyn

1. When mounting, make sure to avoid catching your garment in the “sprockets.”

Crystal Visions Vintage Gucci raincoat, Malin Landaeus vintage silk dress,
Dlc Brooklyn for Urban Outfitters bracelet, Veronique Branquinho shoes

2. Always check for innocent onlookers when stopping to catch your breath.

Crystal Visions Vintage turtleneck, Sea skirt Agent Provocateur thigh highs, Jeffrey Campbell shoes, Manoogian necklace

3. Modest trousers are a plus, particularly when paused in the middle of the thoroughfare.

Malin Landaeus Vintage Silk Shirt And Pleated Palazzo Pants, Dlc Brooklyn For Urban Outfitters Necklace, Reid.Damnit Belt Jeffrey Campbell Shoes

4. Socks must cover the knee.

Mandate Of Heaven off white romper, Sock Man knee socks Jeffrey Campbell shoes

5. An elegant pair of slacks provides a simple solution to possible lawbreaking.

Samantha Pleet shirt, The Reformation pants, Crystal Visions Vintage belt Jeffrey Campbell shoes

6. Never attempt a “trick” in heels longer than a policeman’s whistle.

Electric Feathers dress & belt, Elizabeth Knight Jewelry bracelet Jeffrey Campbell shoes

7. Make sure to stretch before you attempt a particularly strenuous trip.

Shabd dress, The Lake & Stars suspenders, Leg Avenue thigh Highs Jeffrey Campbell shoes

8. When confronted with your immodesty, do not surrender identification on the
first request. Cross your arms and remain silent.

The Reformation bra top, The Lake & Stars underwear, Maurie & Eve (From Store Dear Fieldbinder blouse, The Reformation skirt

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