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Look, it's January. No judgement here for your "Drynuary" pledges or your fervent gym promises. Hey, that actually sounds kind of nice. Follow Matt Lubchansky on Twitter, visit his Patreon page here, or check out his store here.

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I joined Tinder for the second time because my roommate and her girlfriend split up. There are a lot of reasons why people join Tinder: they're lonely, they want sex, they want to date outside their social circle, or, hey, maybe they're lonely. Not me, though. I joined (for the second time) because I saw my roommate scrolling through Tinder while we watched television together, and I thought, "wait, me too." When you're not...