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Thanksgiving is a time of give and take. We get time with our family, which is nice! But then we get in arguments with family, and this year there will be no shortage of that, and we have to hyperventilate and step out of the room—deep breaths, deep breaths— which is the opposite of nice. Like I said: give and take. One of the things that’s pretty universally positive, though, will come on Thursday...
Arthur Schopenhauer, famous for his positive outlook and sunny disposition* said, "Marrying means to grasp blindfolded into a sack hoping to find an eel amongst an assembly of snakes.” I couldn’t agree more! My wedding is in two weeks! I’m deep in the sack! Of course, most of the following terrors are automatically alleviated by avoiding marriage. Everything will also be fine if you don't have a family but do have sacks of money, if you avoid Schopenhauer, and if you...
“Where do you go when you go quiet?” Beyoncé asks in Lemonade’s opening sequence. The answer is incidental to the question being asked. It reminds me of the ones my mother would ask my father after he’d come home from another woman’s house; the ones she’d ask my brother when he refused to answer something simple; the ones she’d ask me whenever I was stealing someone’s video games, lying, and generally not listening. More...
  It's almost Thanksgiving. But you know that already, right? You're probably already adding extra holes in your belts (ha...I think that's a thing people do?) in preparation for the big feast. But maybe you don't come from a family with such great cooking skills. Maybe you have suffered through years of dry, grainy turkey breast; lumpy mashed potatoes in desperate need of salt; gelatinous cranberry sauce that still retains markings from its can, plopped unceremoniously...

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