What's that, you say? "Hipster" is a useless signifier that stopped meaning anything moments after it was first uttered? The point of professional athletics is to evaluate people based on performance and not appearance? Oh, well then! I'll see you that, and raise you these pictures of old-timey (and new timey) b-ball players looking real foyne and stylish, many with enviable mustaches and glasses. I will also add that there is literally no downside to bringing back the tiny, tiny shorts that once graced these unusually tall gods among men. The defense rests.