Brooklyn versus Portland is a debate as old as...well, no, it's really not that old. But there's plenty of superficial ways to compare these two cities. Like bikes. We both likes bikes. And books. In the spirit of collaboration over competition, we teamed up with Alison Hallett of the Portland Mercury to make an exquisite corpse out of sentences from iconic Brooklyn and Portland authors. Alison sent me a bunch of Portland-y phrases from authors like Chuck Palahniuk and Cheryl Strayed and I mixed them up with bits of Brooklyn from authors like Walt Whitman and Jonathan Lethem. The result? A dark and twisted tale that does both cities proud. If, you know, you can feel proud about being a dark and twisted place. Which, yes! Definitely.