Brooklyn’s Biggest Artisanal Punchline Is Dead

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Listen up, Brooklyn, for here is some sad news. You will no longer be able to visit a brick and mortar store dedicated exclusively to variously-flavored artisanal whipped egg and oil, because Empire Mayonnaise—opened in 2012 in Prospect Heights by Sam Mason of OddFellows ice cream, and partner Elizabeth Valleau—is closing late next month, Gothamist reports.

Sure, when it first opened, it seemed a ridiculous and almost sad sign of the times in Brooklyn, and The General State of Things, and of our food obsessed culture, and our proclivity for excess. But that was four years ago! So, obviously, our innate chaffing against it had been proved, in part, foolish: the people did love their artisanal mayo, and they would go to a store that sells it exclusively to buy it. And yet: all good things must come to an end—and so that time has come for Empire Mayonnaise.

For now.

Gothamist also reports an update, provided by the owners: “Yeah it’s sad to see that Lil’ shop go, but the lease was up and it’s just too small to make sense anymore,” Mason and Valleau began (which is to say, evidently, that there was a time in which it made perfect sense). Mason continued, “We’ll be in a bigger space soon.”

So! Dry your tears, shed at the thought of a world in which there is not a store dedicated exclusively to Mayonnaise. Soon, that world will return, bigger and more powerful than ever before.

Image via Empire Mayonnaise Instagram

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