America is already great. Need proof? Here’s a great, union-made hat, which was made by unions, which are great, in America, which is also and already great. You know what else is great, besides America, which is great? The word “great.” It is great to say the word “great” over and over in your head, especially as you are reading the word “great.” It is a great feeling. I guess you could even call it an American feeling because America is great and so is this feeling, which is great. Another great thing about America is that there is no need to “make America great again” because how can you make something that is already great “great again?” This makes no sense. This is confusing. You know what isn’t great? Things that make no sense and are confusing. They aren’t great and never were great and so can never be great again.
Another reason that America is already great is because America is cool. Cool things are great. Some cool things that are great include these great gifts, which we know are great because they are literally categorized as being “great gifts;” these great gifts include a shirt that says “Vote Democrat and Chill.” It is perfect for voting for Democrats and perfect for chilling, both of which are great things, especially chilling, because here chilling means sex, which is great. Another great gift is a T-shirt with a picture of President Obama, which says “Like a Boss.” This is great because Obama is an American and Americans are great because America is great and bosses are great and bosses are American and everything’s just great great great great great great great great great ajseghkhslhgiuhglarhaerhhraiji
h/t Brendan James