Apparently You Can Cook Shrimp Using Your Stoop

Photo: YoungDoo/Flickr Creative Commons

Both stoops and shrimp serve a variety of purposes: You can chill on a stoop with your friends, or read a book on one while sipping herbal tea; Shrimp on the other hand, make great vessels for cocaine smuggling. But did you know that shrimp and stoops can join forces? It’s true: Turns out that stoops can be used to fry shrimp on particularly hot Brooklyn summer days. The more you know.

According to Brooklyn Daily, last month, one Dyker Heights resident did just that, which led to “neighbors logg[ing] a complaint on June 13 for a ‘condition attracting rodents’ at the location, according to 311 data.”

Vinny V., a resident of Dyker Heights and someone who doesn’t approve of  stoop shrimp, noticed that one of his neighbors coated their stoop in frozen shrimp in an attempt to cook the tasty seafood using the sun’s heat.

Vinny was none such pleased. “I thought, ‘Man, that’s dirty if somebody’s gonna eat that’…what if a dog comes by and pees on it?,” he said.

When the Daily actually went out to investigate the rank-smelling claims of stoop-shrimpery nearly a month after the incident, a woman at the residence in question claimed she knew nothing and didn’t speak much English.

While she’s probably just hiding the secret to truly robust-tasting DIY shrimp, we’re pretty certain Brooklyn’s culinary scene will never be the same.

Here’s what the stoop shrimp episode looked like outside of that Dyker Heights apartment:

Photo: Vinny V. of Dyker Heights

Follow Sam Blum on Twitter @Blumnessmonster 

 

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