Ah, so. We all know that Brooklyn real estate has become nothing more than one big joke to those of us who make less than a million dollars a year (not hyperbole!), but did you know that Brooklyn real estate is also a joke for those of us who make more than a million dollars a year? Well, it is! It really is. Case in point: Actress Christina Ricci just bought a house in Fort Greene with vinyl siding and an ugly ass, Home Depot-special front door that is right next to the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway for two million dollars.
Via Curbed, we learned today that everything in this borough is a total joke, and that even movie and TV stars can’t afford to live somewhere with a view where the smell of exhaust fumes doesn’t permeate their living space. Admittedly, Ricci’s new home is just a couple blocks away from Fort Greene Park and it has a large backyard, but also? IT’S RIGHT NEXT TO THE BQE. Sure, there’s something perversely Addams Family-esque about this choice of a home. Wednesday Addams doesn’t need your “greenery” or “skyline views.” All she needs is the comforting hum of steady traffic and drivers honking non-stop to lull her to sleep. But still, it feels not a little insane to us that the kind of neighbors spending two million dollars on a home buys you are a steady stream of Uber drivers bringing their drunken customers home to Downtown Brooklyn from Williamsburg late at night.