Christina Ricci Just Bought a Two Million Dollar House Adjacent to the BQE

Yeah, that's Ricci's new house. Totally worth a couple million, right? photo via Google Street VIew

Ah, so. We all know that Brooklyn real estate has become nothing more than one big joke to those of us who make less than a million dollars a year (not hyperbole!), but did you know that Brooklyn real estate is also a joke for those of us who make more than a million dollars a year? Well, it is! It really is. Case in point: Actress Christina Ricci just bought a house in Fort Greene with vinyl siding and an ugly ass, Home Depot-special front door that is right next to the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway for two million dollars. 

Via Curbed, we learned today that everything in this borough is a total joke, and that even movie and TV stars can’t afford to live somewhere with a view where the smell of exhaust fumes doesn’t permeate their living space. Admittedly, Ricci’s new home is just a couple blocks away from Fort Greene Park and it has a large backyard, but also? IT’S RIGHT NEXT TO THE BQE. Sure, there’s something perversely Addams Family-esque about this choice of a home. Wednesday Addams doesn’t need your “greenery” or “skyline views.” All she needs is the comforting hum of steady traffic and drivers honking non-stop to lull her to sleep. But still, it feels not a little insane to us that the kind of neighbors spending two million dollars on a home buys you are a steady stream of Uber drivers bringing their drunken customers home to Downtown Brooklyn from Williamsburg late at night.

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2 COMMENTS

  1. Clearly, you’ve never been below Williamsburg or to other parts of New York. (“Everything in this Brooklyn is a total joke”). You have absolutely no idea what it means to be a New Yorker and your article’s story is unfounded and leads nowhere. It was like reading a non-sequitor. Thankfully, I’ll never waste two minutes of my life on this website again.

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