If You Fall Prey to the Rock, Paper, Scissors Hustler, You Totally Deserve It

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We like to think we’re pretty savvy New Yorkers. We’ve never sent money to a Nigerian prince. We’ve never opened or passed along viruses sent via email. We have never fallen prey to the siren song of three card monte (is that even a thing anymore? who knows?). And while it might sound like we’re patting ourselves on the back for not being an easy mark, that’s not really the case. We don’t think we’re any more street-smart than anyone ought to be. We think you all—native New Yorkers or fresh-off-the -turnip-truck transplants—should be at least as smart as we are. (Because, really, it’s not that high a bar.)

And yet—and yet!—it turns out that many of you are not as smart as us, because you are falling prey to a hustler who is prowling the bars of Brooklyn, looking for patsies. Via Gothamist, we learned that there is trouble afoot in the form of one Bryan Bennett, former American Rock Paper Scissors champion. Bennett, “a 32-year old New Jersey IT guy who just quit his job at Apple,” is hitting up bars like Williamsburg’s Union Pool and playing Rock Paper Scissors for money—and making quite a bit of it. As Gothamist explains, even though RPS might seem like a random game of chance, there actually is some strategy involved, and Bennett has mastered it. Bennett has also mastered the art of finding a good target, and seeks out those “Brooklynites who look particularly rich, playful, adventurous or stupid.” So… basically everyone in Union Pool! (We kid!) (We don’t!)

While we normally wouldn’t be so forgiving of anyone preying on innocent drunk people, we make an exception in the case of Bennett for a couple reasons. First, we like his moxie! (What? You’re allowed to say things like “moxie” when talking about hustlers.) It’s kind of awesome that his game of choice is one that we last played aggressively when we were 8-year-olds. And two? Any “rich, playful, adventurous, or stupid” Brooklynite who puts money on the line playing this game totally deserves to lose that money! That’s, like, Darwin’s most basic principle right there. So, you know, we say, play on, Bryan Bennett! Enjoy your winnings. You deserve them.

Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen

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