Russia Is Blocking A Massive Shipment of Chobani From U.S. Olympic Athletes, Chuck Schumer Is Pissed

Breakfast of honest-to-god champions.
Breakfast of honest-to-god champions.

Certainly not the weirdest story we’ve seen coming out of Sochi—there’s a whole lot of competition for that dubious honor—but it’s definitely the most New York-centric: a massive shipment of Chobani yogurt on its way to American athletes is Sochi has reportedly been waylaid at Newark, thanks to stalled approval from Russian customs. This being a product of one of New York’s poster child industries, Senator Schumer has already taken action.

“With the Sochi Olympic Games starting at the end of this week, there is simply no time to waste in getting our Olympic athletes and employees a nutritious and delicious breakfast – Chobani Greek Yogurt,” Schumer said in a statement reported by the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle. He also points out that the yogurt in question would only be consumed by U.S. citizens anyway, and that all the necessary paperwork including a USDA “sanitary certificate” has already been approved. We’re Fage loyalists ourselves, but this does seem pretty absurd.

Also absurd? The Jamaican bobsled team’s missing equipment, Sochi’s rampant stray dog problem (and the disappearance of a beloved-by-correspondents-pooch named Sausage), Kool Aid-colored water coming out of hotel pipes (when they work at all), open potholes in the street, and the fact that Russia was chosen as an appropriate location for the Olympics at all. Stay tuned!

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.


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