Where to Buy a Christmas Tree in Brooklyn: a Neighborhood Guide

"Dad! That tree won't fit in our yard!" "It's not going in our yard, Russ. It's going in our living room."

I don’t care what holidays you do or don’t celebrate, it’s an incontrovertible fact that December is the best month to be in New York City because the normal New York street smells of garbage and urine and shit (dog or otherwise) are vanquished (temporarily, but still!) by the nutty aroma of roasting chestnuts and by the pine-infused air surrounding the borough’s ubiquitous Christmas tree stands. You’d have to have a heart at least three sizes too small not to enjoy the presence of Christmas tree stands throughout the month, you really would. Well, or you’d have to be someone who values extra room to maneuver around the hordes of people that crowd city sidewalks during this season, but whatever.

But so, where should you go to buy a tree? Are all tree stands created equally? Should you be looking for a bargain? Or is buying a Christmas tree like buying produce? Do you want to go organic? Do you want to kill yourself for even considering buying an “organic” tree? (Ahhh! What do words even MEAN anymore?) Or, wait! Should you even buy a real tree at all? Isn’t it bad for the environment to be chopping down so many trees? And if you get a fake one, then you won’t need to deal with the tragic, spindly tree carcass on December 26th. So many decisions! Don’t worry though, we’re here to walk you through it all. We can’t hold your hand through this (nor would we, gross), but we can give you a pretty handy guide for where to go to get your tree—real or unreal—this holiday season.

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