Brooklyn Columnist Advocates Beating Your Children

partying teens Brian Holloway's house
Why isn’t someone beating them??

Brooklyn Daily’s “Not For Nuthin” columnist Joanna DelBuono is really upset at those kids who broke into a house owned but uninhabited by former football player Brian Holloway and trashed the place, and also at their parents, who said they would sue the football player for naming their kids’ names. Which, about that story: here’s what the local ABC affiliate actually reported: “Some parents NEWS10 spoke with by phone say they are angry about the list [of names] and now calling their lawyers.” Later, Holloway said, “Parents have threatened me.” Here’s how the New York Daily News rereported that information: “Ex-NFL star Brian Holloway may be sued by parents of teens.” But do we actually know what the threats against Holloway were, or if parents were calling lawyers to prepare to sue Holloway? How many parents were actually angry? Maybe we should hold our outrage for solid information? And not just toss off 400-word columns about something we heard about in the paper?

But the more troubling thing about DelBuono’s column is its headline: “Get the wooden spoon out for the parents—and the kids!” Um, which is supposed to be funny, I guess, in that way of “when I was a kid we all got beaten and it was fine.” Because, you know, hitting people—the answer to everything! And hilarious! Except, you know, it’s not, even if someone does something that, like, really annoys you! “If I were the parent of one these snot-nosed brats I wouldn’t be initiating a lawsuit against Mr. Holloway,” DelBuono writes. “I’d be initiating a wooden spoon over my child’s head.” But both are actually shitty forms of parenting.

Follow Henry Stewart on Twitter @henrycstewart


  1. Between this and the vegetarian “article”, I’m wondering where Brooklyn Mag found this Henry Stewart character. Smacking your child with a wooden spoon, or even one’s hand, is not equivalent to “beating” them, or even close. Do you have kids, Henry? I doubt it.

    These kids deserve to do time for what they did, or some community service at the very least. A smack would be too good for them.

    Funny how this is the first time someone seems to have commented on one of Henry’s silly pieces. That’s probably because nobody reads them.


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