Are We Allowed To Start Calling Townhouses “Castles” Now?


  • Photo via Corcoran

The obvious answer here being ‘no.’ What is this, Europe? Feudal Japan? Upstate New York? If you want to be all lordly or whatever, fine, live your life, but know that there are plenty of websites devoted exclusively to the sale of real life castles. And that if someone tries to convince you that their $1.3 million Crown Heights spread qualifies as one of them, well, it may not live up to your expectations.

But, I guess you can’t necessarily blame them for trying. Really trying. Per the Corcoran listing for this nice, non castle-y building at 1372 Dean Street:

Live like a French king on the Loire Valley! Own your own castle, complete with slate-tiled turret. Semi-attached three story landmarked home on an over-sized lot with parking. 4,300 square feet of luxury living on three floors plus a complete basement. Lot is 30 by 114 feet. Lovely restored mantels, stained glass and oh, those deliciously curved walls. Legal five family but will be delivered vacant. In Crown Heights North Historic district. All mechanicals recently upgraded.

We trust you to dissect the comparison of Crown Heights to the Loire Valley on your own, but it seems to me that the important distinction to make here is this: a turret does not a castle make. Again: a turret does not a castle make. I don’t want to have to say this again.

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.