Hey, have you heard the news? Do you like talking about the weather as much as we do? Good, because as of yesterday, it is stupid nice out. Unless at this exact moment it happens to be raining, in which case, wait a few hours, and this will be relevant. The point is, it’s nice enough to warrant blowing off whatever it is you do for a living and spending your day in the park, drinking white wine, eating cheese, eating chips, pretending there’s enough sun for you to “get a little color,” don’t you think?
Cool, so we’re all on the same page. But where will you go, what will you do, who will you see on your magical day of sunshine and shirked responsibility? Well, the obvious answer would be “I’ll hang out for a little while at whatever park is closest to my apartment,” but that sort of implies a sad sense of complacency. We can do better. We can even, say, choose the exact right park for the exact right purpose, and make this the greatest day of blown-off work this borough has ever known.