So you think you’re ready to own a pet? Or maybe you already do own a pet? But you’re worried about screwing it up? This is totally natural. It is completely normal to fear fucking this up because it’s really easy to do. Having a pet is a commitment akin to—although really, really not the same thing as— having a child. But much in the same way that seeing parents with their charming little offspring can make you want to have a child of your own (just kidding, generally seeing parents with their children makes most people want to get sterilized), seeing someone walking their waddling bulldog can make you want to go straight to the nearest animal shelter and get your own. But before you do that, think very carefully, because you don’t want to fuck this up. So, here’s a little guide on how not to be a shitty pet owner.