I am the kind of person who actually panics when I have to decide where to go on a date. It doesn’t even matter at what point in the relationship it is. I hate deciding. I force the other person to decide, and then I judge them accordingly. If you are ever unfortunate enough to date someone like me, or, for that matter, me—which, don’t, it’s not worth it—then this list is exactly what you’re looking for. It takes all the anxiety out of figuring out where to go when you want to take someone out even though you know you just want sex but also don’t want to seem presumptuous by just asking them to come to your place. Because even when you do that under the guise of “having to walk your dog” it’s still obvious that what you really want is a cheap fuck. Which, fine. But also might not work as well as taking someone out for drinks first. Anyway, this list isn’t just about where to take someone who you want to see naked and then never see again. This list is also about the perfect place for a first date, and the best place to propose to someone, and the place to go for your one-year wedding anniversary and where to go on, like, your 50th wedding anniversary. Because longterm marriage is a thing that can totally happen, or so I’ve heard. Anyway, this list is all of those things. And more!