Want to Know What Happens When “Sex and the City Marries Facebook?”

Ryan Gosling is not what happens when Sex and the City and Facebook get together. But we just felt like using this picture.

  • Ryan Gosling is not what happens when Sex and the City and Facebook get together. But we just felt like using this picture.

Yes! I kind of do! Because I think it probably creates the kind of unholy spawn that is really excited for the new Entourage movie or who thinks Marnie is the best character on Girls. But, unfortunately, “what happens when Sex and the City marries Facebook” is that they birth an app named Lulu. Which, on the one hand, is exactly what you’d think their devil-child would be called, but on the other hand, is still just an app where, for the first time ever, you can review guys as if they were restaurants. Lulu is like Yelp, but men are the food. How provocative.

So, anyway, just how do you rate guys? Is it the same way you’d rate a restaurant? Of course not. This is a much more nuanced rating system than that. For example, Lulu offers you the chance to see the mock profile of one “Adam Smith” whose ex-girlfriend rates him a 9.7 out of 10 and claims that “His hotness could bring peace to the Middle East.” Swoon! Right? Adam’s only flaws are that his #MamaDressedHim and that he’s #GoneByMorning but he does have #BigFeet so at least there’s that. In case you don’t know, THAT MEANS HE HAS A CONFUSINGLY LARGE PENIS A LA WILLEM DAFOE.

You’re welcome for the clarification. What can I say? I’m here to help.