The Brooklynite’s Guide to New Year’s Resolutions
Be Nicer to the New York Times
Ugh, but mom, every time they come to Brooklyn they’re so lame and embarrass me in front of all my friends! I’m still trying to live down “très Brooklyn!” Ok, fine. We can hang out sometimes, New York Times. I promise to text you if, uh, the party seems good. Really. We’ll meet up later.