How-To: Impress Your Significant Other’s Parents This Holiday Season

You have to be an adult today. You can do it.

  • You have to be an adult today. You can do it.

Ugh, oh no, meeting the parents, am I right? There’s a good reason so much stuff has been written about this traumatic rite of passage, including that movie trilogy in which American treasure Robert De Niro accidentally O.D.’s on boner pills. Yikes! And everyone has their own real-life horror stories. Maybe you spilled red wine on their family dog, or maybe the person you were introducing to your parents just never showed up to the dinner at all, ever! Ahaha! What totally hypothetical fun that is not at all based on scarring personal experience!

Anyway, most parents are nice people who just want to meet the person dating their kid and are very willing to hold together any family weirdness for a couple hours. But the whole thing is still fraught, and there are opportunities to genuinely fuck it up (and genuinely make them like you) at every turn. Allow us to steer you in the right direction.