Like the reckless and self-centered (albeit environmentally-friendly) terrors we all know them to be, cyclists are illegally taking over the Brooklyn Heights promenade, rendering it unsafe and unpleasant for everyone else, angry locals complained to the Brooklyn Paper.
This makes perfect sense. As pedestrian, whenever I come close to death or dismemberment, it’s never because of reckless driving, yuppies on rollerblades, or hooligan teenagers on skateboards.
No. It is always, always, always some entitled fuck on a bike, clipping me in a crosswalk or bombing up a street the wrong way. I wish ill upon all of them, actively.
Residents of Brooklyn Heights are a little more civil about the problem.
“I’m here every day and they ride by like nobody’s business,” neighbor Rob Rosenstein told the paper. “There’s no concern for anyone else.”
This, in spite of the promenade’s no-bike policy and the availability of bike paths in Brooklyn Bridge park.
To be fair, some bike advocates are still on the side of truth and justice. Tony Scarselli, who owns the Brooklyn Heights Bike Shoppe, said, “I wouldn’t advise that people ride a bike there. There’s no reason [to bike in the promenade] — it’s like an oversized terrace for the neighborhood.”
At present, locals are pushing for bigger “No Bikes” signs to alleviate the problem. I might humbly suggest harsh prison sentences with no chance of parole, but, you know, we can work on the problem incrementally.
Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.