You could spend your days worrying about today’s air quality advisory, the unstoppable West Nile Virus, salmonella outbreaks and sketchy meat sources, and the impending disappearance of the middle class, sure.
OR you could focus on the greatest news of the day, Queens Bee Emergency 2012!
Amid news of a rogue peacock in the borough (not to mention Bushwick’s resident albino python and this insane macaque monkey on the loose in Florida), we learn that a Queens man was quietly housing 3 million bees in his home, which authorities confiscated last night and removed to an “undisclosed location.”
Yes, it’s perturbing to think that your neighbors are capable of housing a totally insane number of dangerous insects, but cheer up! There a lot of delightful bee puns buzzing (eh?) around the news this morning, and we’ve rounded up a few of our favorites.
The Daily News is far and away the winner of this contest, cramming its report on the story with the following gems:
-“[Bee owner] Chen ranted at the sight of the buzzkill”
-“Neighborhood abuzz with fear”
Meanwhile, Gothamist offered up the very solid “Buzzted” in its headline, and the entrenched punsters at the New York Post had exactly zero bee puns in their write-up of the incident, which, if you think about it, is far, far more disturbing than anything to do with the poorly managed swarm of bees. The New York Times seems to have ignored the story entirely thus far, those classy jerks.
As for us, we humbly offer up bee-mergency and catastro-bee. Hey, no harm in getting in on the hive mentality, amiright?
Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.